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Positions - 02.24.02
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Fetal Positions
Note: As usual, since I didn't bother getting anyone's permision to run their letters, the author will remain anonymous. To ensure anonymity, all references to the subject matter of this artist's original editorial cartoon have been changed to "Scandanavian Death Metal." Man, you got me. Your unauthorized but totally understandable use of my hack [Scandanavian Death Metal] toon on your page is very funny...i have to admit, i'm doubly "gotcha'd" because i have been publicly saying similar things about our groupthink and hack cliche use at AAEC [Association of American Editorial Cartoonists] meetings for years.... --in defense of that [Scandanavian Death Metal] piece, that was one weird week to toon, and my daily piece got pulled at seven o clock in the evening... i dashed off the [Scandanavian Death Metal] image and got the hell out of there, knowing it sucked, but that people who get the paper would LOVE it.. and they did... thanks for paying attention! Pulitzer Prize Winner-X Well, PPWX, I'm glad to hear your readers are such huge fans of [Scandanavian Death Metal]. On to other topics. Anyone who's read Fetus-X for more than one panel has probably figured out that my diet consists almost entirely of tacos and the blood of virgins. You will also likely then understand why I cried tears of joy upon viewing this beautiful daguerreotype of Fetus-X fanatic extraordinaire Andi enjoying the food of the gods.
You rock, girl. Anyone wishing to see Andi's middle finger is invited to visit her bad mother fucking journal. Dudes, I would really like to have the "My God v. Your God" comic as a t-shirt. I saw that you already had 1 request for it on your web page and will email everybody I know about your comic and page if you just do this one thing for me (as if i haven't told my friends already...). Thanks alot. I'll keep reading regardless, chris Chris, that is indeed a popular comic of ours, and a popular suggestion for a T-shirt. Thanks for sending it in -- now get back to harrasssing your friends with your devotion to Fetus-X. Casey and I were just discussing T-shirts earlier today, and new designs for our summer fashion show. Anyone else with any ideas, send them off to us at dudes@fetusx.com. And speaking of Fetus-X gear (and creative fashions), how 'bout them stickers ... Hi Thanks for the stickers, after getting told off for putting some on my locker I got my head teacher to sit on one and it was stuck to his ass all day.
Ben Ben, that is about the coolest Fetus-X story ever. Now, I don't know your teacher, and I have no idea how hot or un-hot his ass may be, but no matter what, I'm sure the Fetus-X sticker was a marked improvement! Fetus-X, Your comic strip is by far the best reading I have read within the last year. It is a riot to sit and read the shit I always think about or want to say written in print by other people. You guys have spawned a new way of creating comics. I would love to see you guys do something like the old Garfield books did. Nothing but a straight publication of shit like you have posted on your website. I know I'd buy them. Reality is a joke for most people these days and I'm truly glad to see that others know this and aren't afraid to point it out to people. I sent out the link for your site here at my job to all of the techs in our computer department. It was well received. I spent the first 2 hours laughing over it. Keep up the damn good work and give everybody hell. Remember, reality is for people who cant handle drugs.
Derrick H. Derrick, as luck would have it, we're working on a few books right now, including a deal with a fairly major publisher that I should probably keep quiet about until the books hit the store shelves. So let's just keep this between you and me, OK? Now here's a letter that was sent to us, as well as The State News, a newspaper that proudly displayed their commitment to the arts and their support for alternative viewpoints by cancelling Fetus-X.
To: dudes@fetusx.com, opinion@statenews.com I read all of the comics off fetusx.com and spent hours laughing so hard it hurt. Every now and then a strip would come along that, instead of making me laugh, heaven forbid, would make me think. I then read an interview with the authors, to see where they were coming from. After they talked about deeper meaning and several things going on in the strip I reread all the strips, trying not to miss anything. After printing many strips off and distibuting them I felt great about myself. Not only was I promoting these two great cartoonists but I also brought their material to many others. Nearly everyone who was shown these comics enjoyed them, Christians and all. Then I read the letters page. I knew some people would not enjoy all of these strips as much as I did. I knew that some would be offended by a couple of the strips but figured the other, less offensive strips might bring them joy, that they could get around their inhibitions and laugh. Boy was I wrong. Calling the authors "Narrow-minded bigots" is the most backwards opinion I found in the letters. How could you call a person who writes a comic strip about a fetus in a jar narrow-minded? Especially when that talking fetus and his insane bunny pal cover everything on the political spectrum from cloning to religion to censorship. Narrow-minded are strips like Geech and Ziggy, regurgitating the same old jokes again and again for lack of a scope any broader than the inoffensive and easy to understand. Bigots are just the opposite of what the authors of this broad strip are. These men stand for freedom of speech, freedom of press, and, most of all, freedom of thought. The second letter stated "There is a unique art involved in making people laugh, or brightening their day, through the use of little goofy-looking cartoon characters." If all you look for in your comics are goofy-looking cartoon characters I damn you to the hell of reading Marmaduke for all eternity. Can you people consider the possibility that a comic might make you think? That it just may challenge your very ideals? Another thing that got me were the people who said no one they knew liked the comic either. Of course not, the only people you would ask are your friends. I would expect your friends to share your opinions. While showing off this marvelous comic I showed everyone I met. If they seemed offended by one then I showed them another. Even a girl who was prepared to slap me for showing her the Jesus Mother's Day card laughed at the next I brought out. By showing friends, enemies, and strangers alike this great strip I feel I have done it more justice than the writer who held an "informal poll" of people he knew. So to all you too stuck up in your own ideals to see the humor or thought provocation in Fetus-x for fear it will somehow bring down all you stand for: get real. And to all those who can't deal with a comic that challenges your intelligence: I curse you to read nothing but regurgitated punchlines for the rest of your life. And to the fans: "Accept the Fetus." Thank you so much, Eric and Casey. Alex R. Thanks, Alex, for the wonderful letter on our behalf. Anyone else interested in seeing their local newspaper join the dark circle of Fetus-X supporters is encouraged to contact them as well. hey guys, your stuff is some of the funniest and most insightful i have seen in a long time. i'm in the process of reading all of it. you guys are geniuses. thanks, petey No, thank you, petey. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the comics ... Subject: You Rock! I love the 03.01.02 comic! It is truly some of the best you guys have to offer. And great job with having jesus read from the quaran! You are truly the best comic there is out there. Thanx, Kelsey No, Kelsey, YOU ROCK! We have truly the best fans out there ... Subject: Basic Fan Mail Letter Dudes, you guys rock in stereo. I found your site browsing on Gorrila Nation, then spent the rest of the night going through your archives. Yeah, thats all I have to say... Jon K. PS jocks suck Hey Jon, glad you enjoy our rocking comics. Now, about those jocks sucking, do you mean that literally? I always found the negative use of the term "suck" to be most likely grounded in homophobia and/or sexism, and have tried to avoid it as such. Although it seems to be fairly well ingrained into my vocabulary, which pretty much sucks. Thanks everyone, as always, for the letters and support, and continue sending your thoughts, dreams and fetus taco pics to dudes@fetusx.com.
Peace,
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