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Old School News

Fetal Positions

	Eric Millikin

Oct. 11, 2001 - So, we're your favorite everything?

I've noticed something about the e-mails you've been sending me recently. You keep saying Fetus-X is your favorite, but you guys can't seem to agree on just what we are. I get "You're my favorite comic in the newspaper," "You're my favorite online comic," "You're my favorite political comic," "You're my favorite sick and twisted comic," "You're my favorite horror comic," "You're my mom's favorite comic" and on and on and on ...

Apparently we're also your favorite schizophrenic comic, too.

But while our fans may argue over just what their favorite parts of Fetus-X are, our haters don't seem intelligent enough to even form an argument.

Maybe I'm reading between the lines a bit too much, but their e-mails all seem to be saying: "Hi. I'm a gutless cretin who is constantly censoring my own thoughts, and would like to encourage you to do the same." OK, so maybe it's generally phrased a bit more along the lines of "I can't believe you made a comic strip that didn't coincide with my narrow way of thinking. Yet, for some reason I can't keep my eyes off it, and I continue to visit your site every week and send you the same stupid e-mails. Maybe it's because I secretly wish I could be more like you and your readers, making independent choices and forming my own ideas. However, instead of admiring your strength, I will instead see it as a constant reminder of my own weakness. Now I must try to destroy you and your fans."

I guess we're their favorite comic, too, in a way. Where would hate groups be without something to hate?

Last column I described our being picked up in two more newspapers, "The Daily Campus" in Connecticut and "The University Reporter," distributed nationally. Since I made the announcement, I've gotten my hands on a copy of the U. Reporter, and it lists where it is distributed. The particular regional edition I have is distributed at:

The Center for Creative Studies
Eastern Michigan University
Henry Ford Community College
Lansing Community College
Macomb Community College
Madonna University
Michigan State University
Oakland Community College (Orchard Ridge/Southfield/Royal Oak)
Oakland University
Schoolcraft Community College
University of Detroit
University of Michigan
U of M Dearborn
University of Windsor
Wayne Community College
Wayne State University

So, if you're near any of those places, get your hands on a copy. If you think our comics look pretty cool on our website, you'll be amazed at how fine they look outside of the confines of a 72dpi, 600pixels wide JPEG.

Seriously, get your hands on it. And if you manage to find a copy of the University Reporter elsewhere that does not have Fetus-X in it, then by all means contact those dudes and tell them how much you'd enjoy reading the wisdom and antics of the Fetus in their paper.

Hell, I suppose that goes for any newspaper.

Alright, my Inbox:

Subject: rock on
To: dudes@fetusx.com

just thought you guys should know that you rock.

u.p.

Thanks for the praise; I'm sure you rock pretty hard yourself. I noticed from your e-mail address and Home for College Bull-Shit web page that you're hanging out at Michigan State. You might want to share your feelings about the heavy rock of Fetus-X with your local newspaper, The State News. I'm sure they'd appreciate your views on what rocks in the worlds of artwork, humor, censorship, poltical commentary, and middle fingers. Rumor had it they were considering publishing us again a few months ago, then they stopped answering our e-mails. Maybe you'll have better luck at convincing them of the awe-inspiring emotional power of Fetus and Bunny. I can't imagine why they so strongly insist on making a newspaper that rocks so little.

Subject: your comix kick serious right wing ass
To: dudes@fetusx.com

i thank you for giving conservative america the proverbial kick in the testicles it needs! fetus-x is a comic that is not only hilarious but also provokes thought. is it possible to get my own adress @fetusx.com?

DeAcOn BlAqUe

Well, we can't give out fetusx.com e-mail addresses to just everybody. But, since you asked so damn nicely and made numerous references to the all-out ass-kicking power of Fetus-X comics, I went to the trouble of hooking you up with the address of deaconblaque@fetusx.com. Use it wisely. Use of the address to e-mail your love of Fetus-X to others is strictly encouraged.

Subject: art
To: dudes@fetusx.com

Eric,
You guys are really on a roll. "Strong Words" was a nice work. Lately I've really been appreciating the work that you're doing. Congratulations on being published in those papers. I'm looking forward to your next strip.

M.

Hell, congratulations to you on helping us get published in those papers. I'm sure that having a ton of dedicated, supportive fans like yourself goes a long way toward convincing a newspaper editor that she would be doing her readers a great service by bringing Fetus-X to their doorstep. Let's hope more fans continue to follow your lead, and more editors continue to follow the leadership of The Daily Campus and The University Reporter.

Alright, until next time ...

Got Words? Send 'em to dudes@fetusx.com.

Peace,